What goes around...

The back story:

I am 3 and sitting at the breakfast table while my pregnant mother hustles around getting ready to get me to the sitter's. She asks, standing at the fridge, if I would like juice or milk with my cereal.

"Um, juice!" I exclaim.

She brings the juice over to the table only to be told (by me) that I changed me mind. "Milk please!"

She goes back and gets the milk, brings it to the table, and I again pipe up, "No, juice!"

So my poor aggravated mother squats down to look me in the eye. "Lauren," she says, struggling to remain calm (and probably also struggling not to choke me), "this is your last chance...do you want juice or milk?"

I look at her, smile and say, "I'll give you a clue..."

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Well, fast forward 27 years and I am standing in the kitchen, trying to get Jack to commit to a drink choice for dinner.

"Jack, do you want juice or milk?" He ignores me.

"JACK!" I yell, "Do you want JUICE or MILK or WHAT!?" (I hate it when he ignores me.)

He finally acknowledges my question and shrugs and says, "OR WHAT!"

Slacker

Me, to Jack, who is army-crawling up the stairs: Can you get up and walk please? This is taking forever.

Jack: My legs are a little bit rusty. I have to go this way.

Happy American Birthday!

Jack had a great time over the 4th of July weekend. We spent a lot of time at the pool where he repeatedly attempted to drown. He will launch himself into the water with no warning, with no fear. It is as if he believes, deep down inside, that his huge bulbous head is a built in flotation device. Needless to say after Dan's hair started visibly falling out I suggested that he let Jack actually go under one time and that might cure him of his dare-devil ways. After plunging in and spluttering to the surface Jack coughed water all over Dan and then said, "I wanna do that again!" Can you say backfire? So this week we purchased a straight-jacket-flotation device which should help Jack learn to swim and keep him above the surface of the water. I can't guarantee he won't still be swallowing half of the pool each visit because the child will NOT keep his mouth shut in the water. He screams, squeals, yells, shouts, talks loudly and laughs the ENTIRE time. He is easily the loudest person at the pool--louder than the lifeguard's whistle, louder than the gang of teenagers trying to to out-bellyflop each other, louder than the group of 11-year old girls playing marco polo. He is still the loudest person in the place EVEN FROM THE BATHROOM where his little voice echos out and floats over the surface of the water: "Look at my poops Daddy!"