Sydney has graduated from having stories merely READ to her, and now often demands tales spun on the spot. Here's last night's:
A long time ago, in a far away land called Virginia, a happy young girl lived a peaceful live, devoid of children. She had only to worry about her own dirty laundry, dishes, and occasionally pick up the poop of her puppy, Stanley. It was glorious.
Wait, I was going somewhere with this. Oh yes, The girl's parents lived across the river in a place called Maryland, and to get to their home, she had to cross a mighty bridge, called the American Legion Bridge. This bridge had six lanes going in either direction, and usually a lot of assholes driving across it at any time. As the girl often traversed this route, she noticed a peculiar thing: shoes. There would be random shoes, never in pairs, scattered on the shoulder of the bridge. Sometimes only one boot. Sometimes several differing varieties. But never, upon crossing that bridge, did the girl NOT see a shoe.
This perplexed her (as did many things in that far away place), and she began to develop theories while she sat in the hours of miserable traffic trying to cross that bridge.
Perhaps a boot truck overturned earlier that morning?
Perhaps star-crossed lovers who couldn't be together left each other reminders of their love on that bridge via footwear.
Maybe the bridge was haunted by a shoe manufacturing magnate who drowned in an unfortunate kayaking incident on the river under the bridge. His soul can never be set free until child labor laws are passed in Indonesia.
OR, maybe there is a wind tunnel that sweeps over part of the bridge and sucks the shoes off of unsuspecting passengers who are, at that exact time, hanging their feet out of the window...as one often does when driving in DC traffic.
Sadly, the mystery was never solved, and the girl and her dog moved away to a magical place called North Carolina and never missed their old home.
Until one day many years later.
Over the years that silly girl and her silly husband had decided to have NOT ONE, but TWO!!! children. (They should have listened to the dog. He protested when they got the not-as-smart, and overly-poopy second dog.)
The second of these two children was a beguiling and beautiful girl, who often disobeyed her magnificent, albeit sometimes silly, mother. Her mother was kind-hearted and let the child survive, however not everyone was happy about this. (Including the dogs.)
One day, as the little girl was getting ready to leave for school, she could not find her shoes.
"I can't find my shoes." She announced, unhelpfully.
"Where did you have them last?" Her mother asked.
"On my feet." The hideous child replied.
And so began the long, and weary hunt for the shoes. They could find ONE of many different pairs of the child's shoes, but alas, a matching set eluded them.
Then it occurred to the mother that maybe that gigantic bridge in her past was the mecca for lost shoes! They all congregated there, in an effort to be seen by as many people as possible, in hopes that one day they would be found and reunited with their twin!
With that in mind, the mother set about crafting for the child a new set of cardboard shoes for the long walk to Virginia. A gift, so that one day, she too would have bedtime stories to tell her own children.
Wait, I was going somewhere with this. Oh yes, The girl's parents lived across the river in a place called Maryland, and to get to their home, she had to cross a mighty bridge, called the American Legion Bridge. This bridge had six lanes going in either direction, and usually a lot of assholes driving across it at any time. As the girl often traversed this route, she noticed a peculiar thing: shoes. There would be random shoes, never in pairs, scattered on the shoulder of the bridge. Sometimes only one boot. Sometimes several differing varieties. But never, upon crossing that bridge, did the girl NOT see a shoe.
This perplexed her (as did many things in that far away place), and she began to develop theories while she sat in the hours of miserable traffic trying to cross that bridge.
Perhaps a boot truck overturned earlier that morning?
Perhaps star-crossed lovers who couldn't be together left each other reminders of their love on that bridge via footwear.
Maybe the bridge was haunted by a shoe manufacturing magnate who drowned in an unfortunate kayaking incident on the river under the bridge. His soul can never be set free until child labor laws are passed in Indonesia.
OR, maybe there is a wind tunnel that sweeps over part of the bridge and sucks the shoes off of unsuspecting passengers who are, at that exact time, hanging their feet out of the window...as one often does when driving in DC traffic.
Sadly, the mystery was never solved, and the girl and her dog moved away to a magical place called North Carolina and never missed their old home.
Until one day many years later.
Over the years that silly girl and her silly husband had decided to have NOT ONE, but TWO!!! children. (They should have listened to the dog. He protested when they got the not-as-smart, and overly-poopy second dog.)
The second of these two children was a beguiling and beautiful girl, who often disobeyed her magnificent, albeit sometimes silly, mother. Her mother was kind-hearted and let the child survive, however not everyone was happy about this. (Including the dogs.)
One day, as the little girl was getting ready to leave for school, she could not find her shoes.
"I can't find my shoes." She announced, unhelpfully.
"Where did you have them last?" Her mother asked.
"On my feet." The hideous child replied.
And so began the long, and weary hunt for the shoes. They could find ONE of many different pairs of the child's shoes, but alas, a matching set eluded them.
Then it occurred to the mother that maybe that gigantic bridge in her past was the mecca for lost shoes! They all congregated there, in an effort to be seen by as many people as possible, in hopes that one day they would be found and reunited with their twin!
With that in mind, the mother set about crafting for the child a new set of cardboard shoes for the long walk to Virginia. A gift, so that one day, she too would have bedtime stories to tell her own children.
