Supreme Analogy

Everyone who knows me knows that I lurve analogies. LOVE THEM. So today I realized something that made my profound pregnancy discomfort much more tolerable. Being pregnant is like being very drunk: Sometimes you throw up. Sometimes you pass out. Sometimes you wake up with a headache THIS BIG. Sometimes you eat food that you normally would not eat. Sometimes you say mean things and slur your words, sometimes even completely forgetting things that you said altogether. Sometimes you embarrass your spouse/friends in public. Sometimes you blurt out inappropriate thoughts and hurt people's feelings. (Sometimes you laugh about this.) Sometimes you want to take your clothes off (and/or burp and fart) at unsuitable times and places. Sometimes you become intolerably maudlin and cry over asinine things (like Dancing With The Stars). Sometimes you fall down for no reason at all. Sometimes you have to pee a LOT. Sometimes you wake up and can't remember falling asleep.

The only holes in this theory are that being pregnant does not make people look better than they actually are (like beer goggles) and it does not make me plan ridiculous things with way too much enthusiasm.