Halloweenie

This year, in anticipation of Halloween, we purchased an "Easy Pumpkin Carving Kit" which should get more than just quotations to indicate my sarcasm. This kit included a few flimsy "saws" and a miniscule "drill" that, instead of allowing me to "carve the pumpkin of my dreams!" only made me growl and reach for my usual stabbing weapons.

We persevered as always, and have one "carved" pumpkin. While it is not the pumpkin of MY dreams, it is apparently the pumpkin of Jack's (bad dreams).

Instead of using the patterns that came with the kit, he insisted on drawing up his own carving sketch that I was instructed to follow TO THE LETTER. We even went through transferring the sketch to the pumpkin with a pencil before I was given the green light to start cutting. (Jack will make a great plastic surgeon.) The drawing literally came to life, and by the time I got to the jagged maw of a mouth, Jack was standing behind me, watching over my shoulder and visibly shuddering.

"Thaaaaat's it!" he whispered in a super creepy voice, RIGHT IN MY EAR.

I squealed, then he squealed, then we both needed reassuring hugs.

Once we procured a candle, he eagerly hustled me and the scary pumpkin right out of the house and onto the front steps--where it will hopefully terrify any would-be intruders interested in stealing 2nd generation baby toys and/or whippets.

Noticably more relaxed after the pumpkin was outside, he realized that it was time for his nightly chore of feeding the dogs. As he poured food into their dishes he noticed a legitimate intruder of the 8-legged variety.

"Aaaahh! ASPIDERISINTHEHOUSE!" he screamed.

"Get it!" I urged.

"How!?" he squealed.

"Kill it with your lips!" Dan piped in from the other room.

With a disgusted look, he finished pouring and went to grab a tissue. "I have to do everything around here" he muttered. I wonder where he hears that?