Thursday, August 11, 2016

About as fun as gum in my hair...

There's so many ways this story could begin, and just typing this I thought of even more background information, but I don't want to overwhelm anyone with the dangerous levels of ridiculous in this house.

So, Sydney loves gum.  The evidence of this can be found in many indiscreet places: a seat-belt buckle in my car, hanks of hair that had to be cut off her head, the sidewalk in front of our house, the leg of her night stand...I could go on.  Until last night.

She is taking a shower and insists that I be in there with her because someone convinced her that there is a "shower ghost."  Apparently I am the only one capable of scaring it off.  So as she's showering (and singing Tove Lo, also super-appropriate for a 6-yr old), I am tidying up their frat-house of a bathroom.  As I'm putting things back in cabinets, I pick up a large, half-full bottle of mouthwash, only to find not one, but TWO wads of chewed gum FLOATING IN THE MOUTHWASH.

"Sydney!" I exclaimed.

She peeks her head out from behind the shower curtain, demonstrably chomping on a wad of gum.

"Syd...I don't even, why would, ugh....I'll be right back."

So I stomped off to find a trash can (their trash can became a meta trash can last weekend, an entirely different, although no less ridiculous, debacle).  Jack and a friend are playing video games as I barge by, both chewing gum. I gave them the stink eye.

"WHAT!" they asked.

"Sydney is hereby banned from gum.  Do not give that child any gum, no matter WHAT she tells you."

They giggle.

After Syd is dried off, lotioned, brushed, and dressed, I make her spit her gum out and tell her, in my most serious voice (yes, there is ONE), that she is on a gum hiatus.

"'Till when!?" she asks, about to get grumpy.

I blurt out, "For awhile.  We can re-evaluate on your birthday."  Which is in about 7 weeks.

"Ooooooo!" she hoots excitedly, "is that because you're giving me a giant gum present for my birthday!?"

Yeah, I think to myself.  A bottle of mouthwash with chewed up gum in it.

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