Crystal

Sometimes in a marriage there are small misunderstandings. Maybe sometimes is a little more like often. Or frequently. I mean at least on a weekly basis. And these "misunderstandings" can be described as one person talking a LOT and one person not really listening, and then later, the non-listener becomes enraged over a previously clearly-explained detail that was NOT LISTENED TO.

I bought Dan some of his favorite, newly available beer at the grocery store. This beer was previously only available West of the Mississippi, but for some random reason, we can now buy it at the Teeter. The World according to Dan is complete. I was specifically instructed to buy ALL of this beer and I dutifully did, all 5 large bottles, and one more in a similar bottle, but of a different variety...which I mentioned to Dan.

Later that night as he went to lovingly retrieve one of his very favorite beers, I could see storm-clouds on the horizon of the future that threatened a downpour of rage if he accidentally selected the not-favorite beer and opened it to discover it's hideous wheat flavor. So I reminded him (again) to check the labels because one of them was NOT his favorite beer. "I just want to you be clear..." I said, looking at him and laughing.

"I just want you to be clear..." he replied with a grin, "that I will kill you." (Clearly this statement is a blantant acknowledgment of his inability to listen to the words coming out of my mouth.)