Notes to self (or Resolutions I)

• Turn the bathroom light on before you put on your makeup. The "flattering, natural light" of your bathroom does not occur anywhere else in the outside world. You need to wear more.
  
  
• Stop believing that THIS will be the time that the ice-dispenser does not shoot ice-shards all over the floor/your bare feet. It isn't, no matter how snugly you hold your cup against the dispensing tube. Open the freakin' door to get your ice.
  
  
• Stop muttering, "Someone blah blah blah" while cleaning up other people's messes. You sound like an old woman. The people you live with are little pigs. Deal with it.
  
  
• Stop shrieking when you see a silverfish. They are harmless, despite the fact that they look like creepy, Pan's-Labyrinth, made-of-devil-dust creatures...that move to fast for human eyes...and magically reproduce...*gag*
  
  
• Take the Pearl Jam off of your iPod already and quit moaning every time one of their songs comes on...YOUR iPOD.
  
  
• Stop telling the story about how you had food poisoning in college...too many people have heard that already. You're getting an unfortunate reputation.
  
  
• Limit your use of the word "legit." I know that it's fun, but it's also legit overused.