Return of the Kin

We survived the beach. Barely. My parents' truck broke down both on the way TO the beach and on the way home, necessitating towing both times as well as the fire department on the last time. It was a show...but what else did you expect!?

OTHER than that it was great! The weather was amazing, and the boys played in the sand all day long, which is unbelievable given their past performances. Jack would have stayed in the ocean 24/7 if we didn't keep dragging him out. Dan and I have determined that he needs swim lessons ASAP because his lack of caution is undermined only by his lack of coordination. I would estimate that he swallowed at least 2 gallons of saltwater during the course of the week.

This year the sandbar was lower than usual, so you had to swim through chest-deep water to get to the knee-deep water of the sandbar. This was the hot destination for the boys, who kept screaming, "Let's go to the bar!!!" My sentiments exactly.

One night we took the boys to an arcade where Jack attempted to play ski ball with hilarious results, and I had to resist the strong urge to bring home hermit crabs. I am proud to say that the only person who got sunburned was Big Gary, who is ironically the only person with Native American genes in the group.

On the Clock

So somewhere, somehow, Jack has learned how to tell time. Unfortunately, this does not necessarily include the input of a clock. Today as we were watching our morning cartoons, I told him, "As soon as this show is over, we are leaving for school." (He likes to be told in advance what is next on his itinerary...not unlike Donald Trump.)

"OK Mama, but that is not for 10 minutes." And he was right!! He has this bizarre internal clock that really works. And 9-minutes later he says to me, "Maybe one more show?" Such a finagler. He tries this at bedtime, and he knows when I am too tired to put up a fight. He looks into my eyes and judges the amount of energy I have left in my body to deal with him, and if it's low enough, he turns on the charm. The other night he convinced me that we should watch Futurama in my bed before bedtime, and since it was only 8pm, I agreed...foolishly. Well, we got cozy with the lights off and I immediately fell asleep--leaving him to watch an episode of Futurama and an hour of the news--before he woke me up (by slapping my face repeatedly).

"Mommy!" he said, "it's past my bedtime!"

Fun on the Bun

Jack (from the bathroom, loudly): Stanley's watching me poop!
Me (shouting to the bathroom): Just do it anyway!
Jack (still screaming): Stanley! Look at my shits!
Me: Jack, we do NOT say that word.
Jack (falsetto): Look at my pooooooo-oooops!
Me: That is better!

Also, Jack got a new Batman Batcave toy this weekend, that is equipped with an "elvabator." Hearing him use that word over and over has made it worth all $40.

Beach

The Dolibers will be arrive this week from Colorado to accompany us to the beach in Topsail. (North Carolinians love to pronounce things in a non-phonetic way. This beach is called "top-selle" just in case you want to sound cool when you talk about it.) This is the best beach that I have ever been to in the continental US. The water isn't Carribbean-clear like Florida's, but it is clear enough to see the bottom--and gorgeously blue-green. Plus the actual BEACH part is perfect for everything...it is soft, flat and wide, with a small sandbar that is exposed at low tide, leaving a channel of warmer water that is perfect for kids to play in and adults to float in on rafts without being pulled down-shore by the tide. There are no life-guards, crowds, or seagulls, mostly pelicans and little water-birds that eat the sandcrabs and clams. We take the dogs, who run around like crazy and splash, and also can relax at the house that we rent, right on the beach. As far as I am concerned, this is the only way to vacation. And it's 2-hours from our house.

I am really looking forward to Jack playing in the sand this year. He was not into it last year and got sick as well, so the trip was a little stressful. This year he is very into building and organizing, so I anticipate some glorious sand structures in his future. He is also at the age where I have my first memories of going to the beach with my Dad's family, before Leslie was even born, and they are some of the best. It makes me feel good to know that we are giving him some of the same comforting and fun rememberances that I have from my childhood...back when I was an only-child. Hehe.

Overheard

Dan: Don't punch me in the stomach, Jack!
Jack: Ow, my bowels!

Backfires

I have been trying to teach Jack how to make jokes. He clearly needs a new way to channel his blossoming sense of humor that doesn't involve fists or pulling down pants. As I was helping him into his pajamas, he stood before me in his little underpants.

"Hey Jack, what's under there?" I asked, pointing to his briefs, THINKING that he would reply, "Under where?" and I could explain the joke.

"MY PENIS!" He screamed with glee. "It's just wiggling around in there!"

Sunday Ridiculousness

We are watching an admittedly adult sit-com while Jack plays on the floor. Someone on the television says, '"...he can't even sleep with a woman."

"SLEEP WITH A WOMAN!?!?!" Jack yells at the TV incredulously, "What are you TALKING about?!?"

...

Earlier today Dan and Jack were playing catch with a small kickball on the back staircase. It involved lots of man-giggling from each of them. Dan pitched the ball up the steps and hit Jack in the rump. "OW! Right in my backyard!" Jack yelled. A few minutes later Dan nails him in the head and Jack screams, "Right in my phone book!"