Jack, while I help him put on underwear and pajamas: Do you know at night my penis and my butt trade places?
Me, distracted: Wait...what?
Jack, totally serious: Yeah, like the ceiling fan. They go around--my penis goes to the back, my butt goes to the front. My butt goes to the back, my penis goes to the front.
Me: Wow.
Jack, skeptically: What, you've never heard of this?
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