Twenty-five ways to annoy a 4.5-year old...

1. Describe their age as a whole number.
2. Do not allow them to attend elementary school, but force them to go to preschool with all of the other 4.5-year olds.
3. Brush their hair.
4. Don't brush their hair.
5. Say mean things to them, like you need to wear shoes outside in the snow, or, no, you cannot have chewable Advil for a snack.
6. Insist that they put their butt in a chair for longer than 26 seconds.
7. Tell them that you moved the laundry from the washer to the dryer and then turned the dryer on all without their supervision/assistance.
8. Ask them to pick up a toy.
9. Give birth to children prior to their birth.
10. Don't help them get dressed.
11. Help them get dressed.
12. Use your phone to have a conversation longer than 2 minutes without explaining to them who is on the other end and why.
13. Hang up without letting them talk to that person, regardless of who that person is.
14. Order pizza with pepperoni.
15. Order pizza without pepperoni.
16. Punish them for picking the bunny up by the ears.
17. Crack an egg and stir it without their help/supervision.
18. Refuse to put all of the remaining Band-aids in the box on the doll they just threw down the stairs.
19. Help them buckle their seat-belt.
20. Don't help them buckle their seat-belt.
21. Neglect to give them their second after-school-pre-pre-dinner-snack.
22. Buy fruit chews that are only in the shape of "boring fruit."
23. Inquire as to what fruits they consider to be engaging and/or entertaining.
24. Store the chips where they cannot reach them without assistance, because it interferes with their ability to sneak chips from the pantry.
25. Don't allow them to eat their chocolate milk from a bowl with a spoon.