Curious Lists

Another one from the best time-wasting book ever.

Working Titles for a Screenplay About George Washington's Space Adventures

"The British Are Orbiting!"

"Georgie Wash--Space Surveyor"

"Patriot of the Cosmos"

"First in War, First in Peace, Last in Space"

"Conquering the Void of Freedom"

"Nature Abhors a Truth Vacuum, or 'I Cannot Tell A Lie...Intergalactic or Not!'"

"I Left My Wooden Teeth on Mars"

I don't feel the same when I am away from your smile...

Happy Birthday woman, and thank you for the following fond memories of my childhood:

• When we would hold hands, and you would pull yours away far enough to tickle my palm with your thumb.
  
• Letting us watch Victor Victoria ad nauseum.
  
• 31 Birthday cakes: shaped like tic-tac-toe boards, with licorice and icing balloons, and probably at least 13 plain white ones made with egg whites only, with white frosting.
  
• Letting me drive to the Olney Shopper's Food Warehouse in your fast car, on my learner's permit, through all of the road-work, clutching the Jesus-strap the entire way.
  
• Letting me watch MTV while you ironed. (Now that I have to iron, there is no way I'd let someone else choose the programming while I perform that chore.)
  
• Lifting me out into the backyard through the kitchen window in my bright pink turtleneck.
  
• Not getting mad at me when you came home early from a Jimmy Buffet concert to find me and my boyfriend making out in my bed; instead you simply said, "Get him out of here before your father sees."
  
• After a fight, driving me around so we could talk it out, and not going home until we were both happy again.
  
• Telling me, "I hope that you have a daughter that is just like you," and meaning it for the good reasons.
  
• Teaching me to swim.
  
• My wonderful wedding (especially the part when you covered Scott B. in sparkles).
  
• Making fence-tents in the backyard with old tablecloths.
  
• The singing and dancing, all of the time, which I've never stopped doing.
  

If anyone wants to know where my heart is, tell everyone that it's wrapped around yours. (Song for Susan; Nash, Graham)

Admit It

Until today I did not know that "hair-suit" was not the correct spelling.

Don't dream it's over

As we were driving to my Mom's house yesterday afternoon, Jack remarked, "The clouds hold your dreams, you know."

I was really struck by that image. I looked up at the sky: the big, floaty, clean, and sun-dappled clouds sitting contentedly in the blue abyss really did seem to hold the promise of something unexpected, and also the innocent assurance that there would be many more endless, sunny, cloud-dimpled skies to canopy our wonderful life.

"That is great Jack!" I exclaimed, marveling in his poetic imagination.

"Great, now there are two of you," Dan muttered.

I am enchanted...

When you interrupt me at work to show me your adorable dirt tan.

When you invite me to make fun of your golf SADDLE SHOES.

When you give my name to reporters, resulting in me being interviewed, which is a secret bedtime fantasy of mine.

When you bring over ALL of your nail-polish on a Wednesday night.

When you turn the usually gruff and serious man behind the deli counter into a bubbling mass of baby-goo with your dimpled smile.

When you make a Star Trek video to Ke$ha's "Tik Tok."

When you still encourage me the way you did when I was 12.

When you ask me why I have been laying in your bed with you so long, and then whisper as I go that you really liked it.

When you continue our conversation in completely serious tones even though I am twirling in my office chair. (I really was listening.)

When you drive 300+ miles to visit and insist we stay up until 3am playing board games and drinking everything in the house.

What she really means

Sydney can't talk...yet. After our experiences with Jack, we are making a point to enjoy this while it lasts. Somehow though, she always seems to get her point across, no matter what type of noises and/or gestures she uses. For example, here are some things that she "said" to me yesterday:

"You are RUINING bathtime!"

"No, I DO NOT WANT to sit down. Standing only from now on!"

"I am going to need 7 more sips of your iced tea."

"I really like dog feet!"

"Wiping my hands and face is totally unnecessary, you evil woman!"

"These matchbox cars are delicious!"

"I am not tired, and I am NOT READY FOR BED! DON'T YOU KNOW ME AT ALL!?"

"Where is Jack? He will fix this. JACK? WHERE ARE YOU?"

"Less talking, MORE DANCING!"

Overheard

(This seriously made me chomp my face in an effort not to laugh.)

Child: I'm so relieved! I just passed my background check to start ______.

Mother: What were you worried about?

Child: Horrible thing A and B!

(Long pause)

Mother, in a small voice: I didn't know about either of those things.

Child: And you guys think I can't keep secrets. Ha!