Two For Two

Yesterday heralded the much awaited ultrasound. I was eager to see if I was indeed growing a human baby, and Dan really wanted to verify that it was a boy (because there are 95% men on the Tarkenton side of the family, and you-know-who is in charge of the variable chromosome). We waited together at the OB/GYNs office, a place where every man feels at home. Dan attempted to accompany me into the bathroom, and then in to get my blood pressure checked, and finally when it was really time to go into the exam room, I had to beckon across the waiting room for him to follow. Sheesh.

The tech was a brilliant lady who talked a LOT. I really love this about the South--there is absolutely nothing but warmth. She rambled on explaining the various measurements that she was taking (head=large, heart=2 ventricles, 2 atriums, all functioning, brain=check, spine=long) and our ninja baby obliged everyone by taking a few pot-shots at my liver on screen. Then the baby flipped over like a little monkey to show us a bony behind. I saw what I thought were male-parts and started saying, "It's a boy! I bet it's a boy!" and the tech said, "No, see this? That is a girl's business!!!"

Needless to say Dan had to immediately sit down on the provided chair and I started tearing up. "I am 99% sure!" the tech bubbled, as Dan cradled his head in his hands. When we were finally alone to de-jelly my belly, Dan looked at me and said, "This is it--when we get home I'm cutting my thing off!"

The first person that we called was Dan's Mom (who, when we started seriously dating, implored me to relieve her of the position as the only woman in the family). She had to hear the news three times before she really believed Dan.

When Jack got home I told him that he was going to have a baby sister. "I know Mama," he said, rolling his eyes condescendingly, "Baby Cheeto will play with all of my toys, but she will have her own too."