Doctor J

I woke up with a cold this morning. Again. I have a terminally sick nose. After watching me use 4 tissues in a row, Jack looked at me with an assessing gaze. "You need a doctor," he proclaimed.

[Aside: Jack turned 3 last week and had his 3-year exam at the doctor's. Since then he has been very clinical.]

He retrieved his doctor's case from the playroom and trotted out to the couch where I was sitting. He dug through his various tools and finally selected the ones he needed. He listened to my ears and asked me to spit in a cup (no joke--and no, I didn't do it). After tapping my knees, giving me a peremptory shot, and making a quick phone call on his pager, he packed his stethoscope and thermometer away. "Well?" I asked him.

"You sick," he told me.

"What is it?" I asked him.

"Foot Stench," he announced and left the room. I guess I am too stinky, even for him.

Red Lobster

Driving Dan to the airport early this morning, we passed the Red Lobster by the highway exit. Jack really likes the sign, as he is very into sea creatures. I didn't realize that he even knew that it was a restaurant (although he is becoming very savvy about any place to get french fries, so perhaps I am not giving him enough credit).

"We need to go there!" he shouted at us. I explained that it was a seafood restaurant---that he would be served clams and shrimp and fish. "Oh yes," he said, rubbing his hands together with shining eyes, "and it will be soooo tasty!!" This was both adorable and misleading as he is undoubtedly the most picky eater on the planet and still won't even touch buttered noodles. Perhaps we should try it, although the last time that I ate at a Red Lobster (under much duress) I was sick for days. That also could have been because I was newly pregnant, but I'm not giving Dan the benefit of the doubt on this one.

Hallelujah!

Today, after we FINALLY got out of our house after a random North Carolina blizzard (6 inches), we decided to go harass my mother. To make up for our obnoxious visit, we took her to dinner at Ruby Tuesday's. This is Jack's favorite restaurant. (He has a lot of favorites these days.) On the way home from dinner, I remarked that Jack was finally going to be back in school tomorrow, and I added a little hallelujah (the drama in our house is contagious). Jack loved the sound of this word. He tried his hardest to repeat me, but mostly sounded Hawaiian---"Hanehuyah." My Mom (who is notorious for singing random songs in an opera voice) started, of course, singing and Jack followed with his best falsetto. I almost drove off of the road laughing. Sometimes I think that my life needs permanent video surveillance.

Jack has also expressed a preference for music lately, which I find extremely interesting. I'm very eager to see what kind of taste he has. I've been playing The Killers latest album a lot lately and there is a song called "A Dustland Fairytale" that Jack loves. He's very into lyrics (I admire this in a man) and I suspect he loves particular song so much because he recognizes some of the words the line "I saw Cinderella in a party dress..." It's a pretty awesome song if you'd like to give it a listen.

Life in Mayberry

Since we moved down here, I have wondered if my son will grow up to be a southerner, and how early I will be able to determine this. Well, as of today I have my answer...approximately age 3. Jack and I have been arguing lately about how to describe the act of interrupting the power supply to a light source. I call it turning the lights OFF, and he prefers to say turning the lights DOWN. Well, I was talking to my neighbor this morning (who is a legitimate Southern Belle) and she was talking about her daughter's bedtime habits and she used the phrase, "turn the lights down." I am sure that my jaw dropped as I came to the realization that Jack had not been incorrect with his phrasing--he is just assimilated!!!

Shamtastic!

I was the proud recipient of the ShamWow! TM this Christmas. It is all that it is cracked up to be. I know this because I have been absorbing things left and right and have no complaints. This present was perfectly timed to coincide with Jack's potty-training efforts. I'm thinking of crafting one of the shammies into a pair of yellow briefs for him.

Upon discovering that he had peed in his pants, I gave him my most disappointed look and said, "Jack Thomas," shaking my head.

He looked right in my eyes, mirrored my expression, shook his head and said, "Mommy Tarkenton."

The Year of Three

Jack will be turning 3 soon. He informed me that he is having a "Diego Birthday." Apparently he is planning it himself or has hired a planner. This kid acts like he's got money.

Potty training is going well...ish. Jack is definitely a two steps forward-one step back kind of guy. He gets 3 M&Ms after going pee in the potty. So he has discovered that if he chugs his drink he will have to pee sooner, and therefor get more chocolate, so he is constantly using the toilet. I estimate that he has gone approximately 8 times in the past 2 hours. I had to prevent him from flushing the toilet each time in order to prevent a nation-wide water shortage.

Merry Kissmas!

We hope that everyone had a wonderful Christmas. We sure did. Jack calls it "Kissmas" and after awhile I got it--he kept kissing me whenever we talked about it. I thought that he was just excited, but it turns out he thought that it was a holiday of kissing (a pretty adorable sentiment) so that's what we've been doing!

Unfortunately Captain Jack (his self-appointed alias) has been a little sick. We've been at the pediatrician's office a few times already this week, and are now the proud owners of a nebulizer. Jack loves it and (thus far) has been extremely patient with sitting through the 10-minute treatments. The medicine makes him a little wacky, so his post-neb diatribes are getting more and more hilarious. I told him today that it was now time for his nap and he asked me, hands extended, "Where do the times go?" I could only shake my head--I truly have no idea where the time goes. I still can't believe this giant is my son.

While reading his nap-time story, I tried to turn a page. "Oh no, I need to talk to this," Jack announced, turning the page back again, and listing everything that he saw on that page. He will do well in a board room. Blah, blah, blah!!!