We spent this past weekend in Williamsburg, VA along with some very special friends who we have not seen in TWO YEARS. (Yes, this a good indicator of the speed at which my social life moves.) We visited Water Country USA, which I cannot say enough nice things about, and Busch Gardens Europe, which was just so-so. The family survived the weekend in amazing spirits, despite a 7-hour roundtrip drive, one speeding ticket, several forgotten items, foot-blisters, a harrowing I-want-to-get-off-this-roller-coaster-now moment, and two small colds (me and Jack).
I was, as usual, very impressed with how well the baby fared during the whole trip. She didn't fuss in the car, was perfectly content to eat anywhere (and anything), napped in her stroller, played amongst hundreds of squealing, wet people in pools, greeted everyone with a smile, and even safely rode in the hotel shuttle with no restraints (although she did manage to pinch two strangers during these bouncy rides, which--if you don't know her--is a very low statistic). I suppose I find all of this mildly surprising because these were not activities we could have done with Jack. I know that you're not supposed to compare your children, but that is kind of impossible--it's our experience as parents to figure out each one of these rascals and how best to keep everyone from choking everyone else. (Thinking about it is OK.)
While we were off having fun, my parents and sister watched the dogs. Stanley was up to his usual antics (running around like a moron) and managed to have a near-death experience (luckily at the hands of my cousin, who, thankfully, is a very conscientious driver). He was very excited to see us when we finally made it to my Mom's for a bbq dinnner. He was so emboldened by his new lease on life that, at a moment during the meal, he hopped up into an empty chair at the table, and then proceeded to climb right up onto the table...and when the whole family started squawking, he was all WHAT? WE AREN'T DOING THIS ANYMORE?
Now he has contented himself with guilting as many cookies as possible out of Dan and I with his tap-dancing and I-could-have-died-doe-eyes. So all is back to normal in this house.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Credibility
(This is an unpublished post I found from back on May 4th. It made me laugh, so prepare to feel dumb if it doesn't have that affect on you.)
My cousin, who is only 4 months older than I am, spent the weekend down here with us. It was wonderful. She and I grew up next-door to each other, and went to school on and off with each other, so I can safely say that she is one of those lucky people who know me best in this world (they are limited for a reason).
She and Dan were invariably drawn to each other as co-survivors of knowing-me-well (good thing we kept my sister away). They sat and talked for HOURS about ridiculous things as I rolled my eyes until they were sore. Dan was ecstatic to have someone who had not heard all of his stories, and even more excited to find that my cousin, like Dan, is what I call a fellow "fretter." So their conversations turned towards how best to worry over unforeseeable life-events, forcing me, the non-worrier, to leave the room lest my eyeballs fall out entirely. (This was probably their intention all along.)
As they discussed their worst fears (about how to mentally and physically prepare for nuclear fallout and waking up one day with a bank balance of $0), I tackled some of our never-ending laundry. Needless to say, they had more fun than I did. I could hear their excited squeals of fear-mongering as I folded clothes upstairs, wondering about my worst fear: being discovered living in Wyoming with a very sexy cowboy and sent back home to my real family.
My cousin, who is only 4 months older than I am, spent the weekend down here with us. It was wonderful. She and I grew up next-door to each other, and went to school on and off with each other, so I can safely say that she is one of those lucky people who know me best in this world (they are limited for a reason).
She and Dan were invariably drawn to each other as co-survivors of knowing-me-well (good thing we kept my sister away). They sat and talked for HOURS about ridiculous things as I rolled my eyes until they were sore. Dan was ecstatic to have someone who had not heard all of his stories, and even more excited to find that my cousin, like Dan, is what I call a fellow "fretter." So their conversations turned towards how best to worry over unforeseeable life-events, forcing me, the non-worrier, to leave the room lest my eyeballs fall out entirely. (This was probably their intention all along.)
As they discussed their worst fears (about how to mentally and physically prepare for nuclear fallout and waking up one day with a bank balance of $0), I tackled some of our never-ending laundry. Needless to say, they had more fun than I did. I could hear their excited squeals of fear-mongering as I folded clothes upstairs, wondering about my worst fear: being discovered living in Wyoming with a very sexy cowboy and sent back home to my real family.
Admit It
I absolutely said:
Manure = "man-yer"
Lingerie = "Linger-ee"
Daschund = "Dash-hound"
Also I stubbornly pronounced "pint" to rhyme with "mint" for a LARGE portion of my life, because I thought that it was really asinine to say it any other way considering the spelling. Probably more asinine was my series of very bad haircuts between 1991-1996...but I was a teenager--I had to focus my outrage on something besides my horrible appearance.
Manure = "man-yer"
Lingerie = "Linger-ee"
Daschund = "Dash-hound"
Also I stubbornly pronounced "pint" to rhyme with "mint" for a LARGE portion of my life, because I thought that it was really asinine to say it any other way considering the spelling. Probably more asinine was my series of very bad haircuts between 1991-1996...but I was a teenager--I had to focus my outrage on something besides my horrible appearance.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
I am delighted...
When you tip your hat to me as I am walking past, causing your wife to jab you in the ribs.
When you struggle but manage to pronounce my name correctly, even though your grasp on English is tenuous at best.
When you acknowledge my severe impatience problem, and reply to my emails with lightening speed just to make me happy.
When you assure me that you too are having a 1/3 life crisis.
When you help me clean up broken glass in the garage at 11:30pm because people are stupid...even in their 30s.
When you exclaim upon seeing me after a few months away that I look "lean," causing me to categorize this as one of my favorite compliments.
When you are legitimately convinced that Chelsea Handler will undoubtedly hear my laughter over a crowd of thousands and make fun of me.
When you bring your parents to the movies and I am so smitten with them that I want to put them in my purse and take them home with me.
When you struggle but manage to pronounce my name correctly, even though your grasp on English is tenuous at best.
When you acknowledge my severe impatience problem, and reply to my emails with lightening speed just to make me happy.
When you assure me that you too are having a 1/3 life crisis.
When you help me clean up broken glass in the garage at 11:30pm because people are stupid...even in their 30s.
When you exclaim upon seeing me after a few months away that I look "lean," causing me to categorize this as one of my favorite compliments.
When you are legitimately convinced that Chelsea Handler will undoubtedly hear my laughter over a crowd of thousands and make fun of me.
When you bring your parents to the movies and I am so smitten with them that I want to put them in my purse and take them home with me.
Fat and Annoying
Sydney is getting...girthy. Her enthusiasm for consuming food is unmatched. UNMATCHED, PEOPLE. She will eat 99% of the foods she is offered, and never tires of packing her little face. This is a quality I greatly appreciate in a child (and a friend). All of this gorging gives her boundless energy, and although she is quite rotund, her skinny arms and legs propel her around my house like a pudgy bullet.
We went out to eat last weekend, and Sydney was ecstatic to be fed both her baby food bits and bits of all of our lunches. She couldn't decide what to focus on in her delighted greed, so she filled both of her fat fists with bits of chicken and bread, and then proceeded to lean down and goose peck (with alarming accuracy) cheerios off of the table with her little lips. Dan and I had to scoot back from the table to laugh. Needless to say, I no longer wear mascara to meals with this child.
She is also disconcertingly preceptive and is quickly learning how to manipulate all of the members of this house...even the dogs. She knows that she can sneak them anything she doesn't want (which isn't much) at the table, and that they will lick her fingers clean should they invariably get covered in cereal and/or mashed vegetables. It has taken her 10 short months to learn that Mommy will laugh at anything, even if you are in the midst of getting in trouble. (I myself am impressed that I managed to hide this fact from her for 10 months.) She likes to pinch me to see how mad I will get, and even tucks her little lips in to make her mouth into a determined line as she tries to sneak those tiny fingers in for a nasty tweak. I have had to resort to pinching her back to get her to stop. I can assure you that she does this deliberately to annoy me--so she fits right in in this crowd.
We went out to eat last weekend, and Sydney was ecstatic to be fed both her baby food bits and bits of all of our lunches. She couldn't decide what to focus on in her delighted greed, so she filled both of her fat fists with bits of chicken and bread, and then proceeded to lean down and goose peck (with alarming accuracy) cheerios off of the table with her little lips. Dan and I had to scoot back from the table to laugh. Needless to say, I no longer wear mascara to meals with this child.
She is also disconcertingly preceptive and is quickly learning how to manipulate all of the members of this house...even the dogs. She knows that she can sneak them anything she doesn't want (which isn't much) at the table, and that they will lick her fingers clean should they invariably get covered in cereal and/or mashed vegetables. It has taken her 10 short months to learn that Mommy will laugh at anything, even if you are in the midst of getting in trouble. (I myself am impressed that I managed to hide this fact from her for 10 months.) She likes to pinch me to see how mad I will get, and even tucks her little lips in to make her mouth into a determined line as she tries to sneak those tiny fingers in for a nasty tweak. I have had to resort to pinching her back to get her to stop. I can assure you that she does this deliberately to annoy me--so she fits right in in this crowd.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Overheard
Jack: Um, I think you need to buy me this toy that is on TV.
Me: Um, no.
Jack, in his Mom voice: If you do-on't, I will be VERY angry.
Me, non-plussed: Oh really?
Jack, whispering: Well, maybe just a little angry.
-------------------------
Dan: Jack! We're going to the store. Come on.
Jack, reaching for a small tote: OK! Let me just grab my purse.
Dan, muttering: Jesus. That's not even a purse.
Jack: OK...HANDBAG.
Me: Um, no.
Jack, in his Mom voice: If you do-on't, I will be VERY angry.
Me, non-plussed: Oh really?
Jack, whispering: Well, maybe just a little angry.
-------------------------
Dan: Jack! We're going to the store. Come on.
Jack, reaching for a small tote: OK! Let me just grab my purse.
Dan, muttering: Jesus. That's not even a purse.
Jack: OK...HANDBAG.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Threats
Me: Jack, I will knock you into Dimension X if you do not stop pulling on the blinds.
Jack: Nooooooooo!
Dan: Jack, I will hang you by your toes in the woods if you do not finish your dinner.
Jack: Nooooooooo!
Me: Jack, I will have 10 more babies if you do not stop banging on the wall.
Jack: Nooooooooo!
Me: Jack, I will atomize all of the cheese on this planet if you do not stop playing with the toilet seat.
Jack: Noooooooooo!
Jack: Dinah, I will wrap you in spaghetti if you don't get off of my feet.
Dinah: *leap*
Jack: Nooooooooo!
Dan: Jack, I will hang you by your toes in the woods if you do not finish your dinner.
Jack: Nooooooooo!
Me: Jack, I will have 10 more babies if you do not stop banging on the wall.
Jack: Nooooooooo!
Me: Jack, I will atomize all of the cheese on this planet if you do not stop playing with the toilet seat.
Jack: Noooooooooo!
Jack: Dinah, I will wrap you in spaghetti if you don't get off of my feet.
Dinah: *leap*
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